FAQ

What does a sexologist do?

We can do a lot of things! I work as a coach, public speaker, organize workshops and retreats and help people heal their relationships: with themselves, their partners and everyone else.  

• Are you struggling to identify what you really want? 

• Is your gender or sexuality evolving and you want support to figure it out?

• Is your partner driving you crazy and you don’t know what to do about it?

• Do you have s3x that isn’t exciting you, doesn’t feel good, or you want something more?

• Are you interested in learning about B/D/S/M, how to get started, stay safe, try things or get guidance on specific practices?

• Do you find yourself people pleasing, numbing out or freezing in the face of other people’s needs?

• Are you considering non-monogamy, or already ENM but struggling with aspects like jealousy, hierarchy, fairness or communication?

• Are you frustrated with the endless cycle of dating?

• Have you recently learned that you are or might be neurodivergent and trying to unpack how that impacts your relationships? 

• Dealing with a mis-match of desire, in frequency or type of play?

We can work on that! We’ll use somatic (body-based) practices and work like a lab- trying out different approaches, feeling into the body, relating with each other and holding space for whatever comes up along the way. 

What is somatic sexology, and how is it different from traditional sex therapy?

We won’t just talk, we’ll practice, play and experience. No, I don’t mean we’re going to “do it”, I mean we will play with body-based exercises, breathwork, role play, explore touch, try out practices (with clear boundaries), and relate to each other honestly and openly as full human beings. You can also read my blog post about this for more detail.

What kinds of issues can somatic sexology help with? 

So many things! Intimacy, relationship with self and others, sexual disorders (vaginismus, erectile dysfunction, etc), mis-matched desire, infidelity, exploration of self, sexuality, gender, relationship styles (like non-monogamy or monogamy), desires, consent, boundaries, needs, communication, the impact of body image, aging, disability, chronic illness etc on relationships and desire, exploring kink, dating challenges… you name it!

Do sessions involve physical touch, and what are the boundaries?

Whether we use touch or not is entirely up to you and our mutually agreed boundaries! I follow the Somatica Code of Ethics, which means we have a lot of options, but will always stay clothed and all touch must serve a therapeutic purpose. 

Is this work only for individuals, or do you work with couples as well?

I work with individuals, couples, non-monogamous groups as well as offer group coaching, workshops and retreats.

Do I need to be experiencing sexual problems to benefit from this work?

No, definitely not! Sometimes people want to explore, add variety, meet new people, or expand their sense of self. There’s no need to have a specific problem, we’ll find your growing edge and play with it!

Is somatic sexology trauma-informed and safe for survivors?        

Yes. As a survivor myself, ensuring a safe place to work on relationships is really important to me. I have studied and hold certifications in Integrative Somatic Trauma Therapy, and Applied Polyvagal theory in Therapeutic Yoga for Trauma Healing, which has given me many tools for holding space and helping you feel empowered for post-traumatic growth. We will always ensure you consent to any practice we try, and help you understand, feel and communicate your boundaries. You will always have a choice in how we interact. 

What happens in a typical session?

In a 1:1 session, we usually start with talking, understanding what is present for you at the moment, we’ll identify an edge that you want to work on, and then we’ll use somatic and body-based practices, play and/or experiences to expand your understanding and ability. We will wrap up with a bit of after-care, integration and summarize what you take away from the session.

In workshops and intensives, we may have a bit more structure or a core topic that we will explore individually or as a group. We will share our perspectives and experiences, work in partners and groups (always with consent and agency!), use somatic practices, tools, games, and experiences, and again, always end with after care, integration and learning.

Do you offer online sessions, or is this work best done in person?

Both! I offer online workshops, intensives and individual coaching, as well as in-person options and retreats. There is more we can do in-person, but online work is also very effective! You’ll be surprised how much care, empathy and experience can be communicated virtually, if that’s what you choose!

Is this work inclusive of all genders, orientations, and relationship styles?

Absolutely! I specialize in working with people who are “outside the norm”– LGBTQIA+ and gender diverse individuals, neurodivergent, disabled, non-monogamous and kink folx to the front.

How do I know if you’re the right practitioner for me?

Listen to your body. Do you feel safe when you read my website? Intrigued? Aroused? If something turns you off, is that a growing edge for you, or am I just not the right person? Feel free to schedule a free consultation, no obligation and no sales tactics. You decide after we speak if your body says yes or no.